Monday, September 10, 2007
American Idol judge Randy Jackson sinks sailboat full of kittens
American Idol fatboy judge, Randy Jackson, has sunk a twenty-five foot sailboat loaded with exotic kittens destined for the foreign market.
Mr. Jackson, a music producer and foot model, has become quite a specialist in sinking ships of late.
Late last month he scuttled an oil tanker off the coast of Newfoundland. Six days ago he sank a ship belonging to former Nine Inch Nails singer Trent Reznor in the Bahamas and only yesterday he torpedoed a fishing trawler off the coast of Spain.
“I try to do my thing”, said Jackson, “just workin’ my magic, dawg”.
Jackson claims his vandalism is part of his “great plan” for the world.
“Look, let me lay it out for you”, said Jackson, “my music, producing, American Idol and all that are just small fry. The goal is to sink ships, man. That’s were the life is, baby”.
Jackson remians free because authorities fear he may sink their little police boats.