New “Best Retard” Oscar to be awarded at Academy Awards Show

Next years Oscar ceremony will see the handing out of a new award for “Best Retard”.

“It’s in recognition of all the hard work some actors put into their performances to be handicapped or deformed in some way”, said Academy spokesman Hugh Aryue.

Tom Hanks, who has won the Best Actor oscar a number of times undeservedly believes he’s in with a chance.

“I have a new film coming out called Mikey the Mongo Boy where I play the title character. Think of it as Forrest Gump meets Sloth from The Goonies”, said the multi-chinned lardy actor.

Brad Pitt also has his eye on the prize.
“I think I could win it just by playing myself”, said Pitt during day release from Angelina Jolie’s care.