Monday, September 10, 2007

Charlton Heston slams the National Rifle Association for “gun loving”

Legendary Hollywood actor and N.R.A spokesman Charlton Heston has slammed the association for what he calls a “gun loving” attitude.

Speaking at a remarkably bizarre rally staged in Augusta, Georgia, Heston, while stoned out of his head on drugs, said :

Must we be so gun loving? Are we that inhumane that we ignore the plight of our fellow man? Where is the tower of strength, the communal care, the flying monkeys? Are we not men?

The speech was greeted with cheers from the assembled masses who laid down their weapons and pledged to bring love to the world through yoga and seafood cooking.

He spoke what I was thinking all along”, said NRA member JD Calvin Cuttle, “my heart was beating so fast while he spoke I surely thought it was gonna explode. And the flying monkey reference really rang through with myself and my family”.

Mr. Heston exited the building on a flying monkey accompanied by a talking mouse and a sheep, according to N.R.A eyewitnesses gathered at the L.S.D table.


Anonymous said...

I loved Charlton Heston for everything he did for this world in acting, etc. with the exception of his supporing guns. It is about time the biggest proponent (and figure) for the worst thing that ever was invented on the face of the earth (guns) is dead. Maybe we can now move on to becoming what we use to be...civilized. RIP Charlton...maybe the good news is that it wasn't a bullet to your head (like it should have been) that killed you. - Signed Anti-Gun Supporter

Jesus Budda said...

That wasn't very nice now, was it?

A true movie star has parted from this world.
Goodluck and farewell, Charlton.

The gun thing: guns are bad.
But the "worst thing that ever was invented on the face of the earth"?
I think not.
That would be politics.
And guns don't kill.
Bullets kill!

The greatest invention?
Why, String of course!
No string, no clothes, cloth, domestication of animals (leads adn tying of fences), no ropes - so no sailing and voyages of discovery, no dental floss, the list is endless.

On this day I think we should all think to ourselves: how wonderful string is and how god Ben Hur and Planet of The Apes are.


Jesus Budda