The XXIII Zombie Olympiad’s official opening ceremony begins later today with a host of celebrities in attendence.
The Olympic torch will be extinguished by none other than movie star and leper Mel Gibson.
“It is an honor to be chosen”, said Mad Mel, “the extinguishing of the Olympic torch symbolises the removal of the zombie’s greastest fear - fire - and allows the proud athletes to compete in safety”.
Popular events include the 100 meters sprint, which takes over an hour to complete due to the slowness of the competitors.
“What I’m really excited about seeing”, said Gibson, “is the swimming events. The water turns to porridge after a couple of laps”.
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