Loni Anderson and Burt Reynolds merge

Former couple Loni Anderson and Burt Reynolds have asked their plastic surgeon to surgically connect themselves to each other. The duo’s faltering fame has meant that they no longer can demand column inches in the national press.

Renowned cosmetic surgeon Dr Manfred Frederic commented: “As the old adage goes ‘two heads are better than one‘. Loni And Burt may be taking this to the extreme but after the operation they’ll be the toast of tinsel town once again. Look how popular conjoined twins are. Everybody loves ‘em. Well think of Burt and Loni as celebrity conjoined twins.”