Former Whitehouse loon Donald Rumsfeld has admitted to trying to crush “Jerry Maguire” actress Rene Zellweger, between a bookcase and wall.
“I don’t know what came over me”, admitted the 75 year old, “something in me just clicked. Her rosie cheeks reminded me of apples which, logically lead me to think of terrorist activities. Now that just made my blood boil”.
Mr. Rumsfeld has apologised to Zellweger.
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