Rap mogul Angela Landsbury promotes new roster of “talent”

“Murder She Wrote” actress and jailed killer Angela Landsbury has been unveiling the roster of new acts she has signed to her “Crack Bitch” label.

Landsbury, who is serving multiple life sentences in San Quentin for murder and kidnapping offences, held a press conference from her prison cell. The acts include “Hairy John”, “Fat Larry” and “Big Boi Caprese”.

"I'm fizzle jizzle to the snizzle whizzle", said Lansbury as she rlled a joint and handed it to her cell mate, Big Bubba.

Due to federal financial regulations, all income from Landsbury’s earnings must be donated to the victims of her crimes, so mafia crime boss John Gotti’s widow is in for another mega windfall.

British Royal family capture escaped murderer Angela Lansbury

British newspaper, The Daily Mail, reports that the Royal Family have intercepted escaped killer Angela Lansbury. The “Murder She Wrote” actress was apparently fired upon and wounded by Queen Elizabeth.

Lansbury is set to be deported to the US where she will serve the remainder of her sentence for killing Mafia Don John Goti at San Quentin correctional facility.

Murder She Wrote actress insults Kofi Annan

Angela Lansbury, who played Jessica Fletcher” in the hit 80’s show, has provoked consternation in Washington by calling former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan a “mother*ck*r”.

The row erupted during a dinner organised by President Bush in honour of Mr. Annan.
“It was incredible”, said guest and eyewitness Lorenzo Lamas (Falcon Crest), “Mr Annan wanted to meet a number of famous faces from television such as myself and others. Then Angelsaburst in and all hell broke loose”.
Miss Landsbury was returned to a secure unit at San Quentin high Security prison where she is serving an 18 year term for murdering New York crime boss John Gotti.