Retard movie banned in Oklahoma

A movie directed by Oscar Winner Steven Spielberg has been banned in Oklahoma by city officials.
“Retard” is a family movie about a boy who discovers a magical retard hiding in his garage.

“It’s a tale about a suburban boy whose father has recently passed away and he’s trying to come to terms with his loss”, said Spielberg, “he finds a special friend called Retard who helps him and his family”.

“We cover themes of love, loss, rebellion in this picture”, added Spielberg, “and with the 98% of the movie’s gross, I plan to buy a small South American country and rule it like a Sun God”.

Writer/producer George Lucas elaborated further;
“I can relate to retard a lot. I grew up in a relatively wealthy family, I became a multi millionaire very early in life, I’m now a multi-billionaire with an empire that’s viewed by some as a religion…“, Lucas pauses to stroke his beard, “actually I’m nothing like Retard”.

Retard will be portrayed by scary big mouth Sandra Bernhardt and the boy is being played by Jessica Alba.

Clint Eastwood has “face like jello”

Co stars on Clint Eastwoods newest film have told reporters that the “Man with no Name” has a very strange habit. “Fantastic Four” actress Jessica Alba has described how Clint prepares before each take.
“He goes to a quiet corner with a bunch of billiard balls. And then all of a sudden he pushes them into his face. It was freaky at first but then I became kind of used to it”, cooed Alba.

“He say’s it makes him concentrate”, states another co star Tim Robbins, “some people chew gum. Others stick billiard balls into their faces. Whatever works, I suppose”.
Alba, who plays Eastwoods sixty eight year old cat in the Disney produced film points out that “he has a face like jello. I’ve learned so much from him.”