Film based on Invention of the fork

Fat mouthed producer Harvey Weinstein and his equally fat yet lesser known brother Bob are producing a film based on the invention of the humble fork.
“Without the fork we wouldn’t be so fat”, explained Harvey, “the fork changed civilisation forever”.

Mathew Broderick is set the play the inventor of the fork. His love interest, a Shetland pony, will be played by real life wife Sarah Jessica Parker.
“I love working with Matthew. We’re very compatible”, Parker told no one in particular.

Gibson seeks help

At last Mel Gibson has sought help for his leprosy problem. The Christian-loving alcoholic anti-Semite has had a long suffering relationship with the disease. During Lethal Weapon 4 he insisted that midget actor Joe Pesci should be included in many scenes in order to distract from his pain. Gibson blames his disease on poor quality holy water he drank while on a vacation in Israel with his father.