Paris Hilton Keyboard ensures easy web access to the socialite

A computer keyboard has been launched by Microsoft, which ensures that you get all the latest Paris Hilton news. Dubbed the “Paris-Pad”, the keyboard features a single button marked “Paris Hilton”.
“We aim this product mostly at Paris fans”, said evil Microsoft hunchback, Bill Gates, “but it’s not solely limited to just fans”.

Retailing at $50, the same price as Paris’ mechanical ear, the “Paris-Pad” links directly to the parishilton.crap webpage.

“Why waste time typing in words?”, said Gates, “when all most people want to find out is about Paris Hilton and what she‘s up to”.
Sales of the “Paris-Pad” have sky rocketed, with tabloid journalists most eager to get their hands on the product.

Microsoft tycoon breeds worlds first chicken-man

Multi-billionaire Microsoft chairman Bill Gates and his wife Melinda have successfully bred the first chicken-man. Speaking from his headquarters in Silicon Valley, Mr Gates, holding hands with his wife, explained the development: “this is an historic day for mankind. The formation of a chicken-man from the combined cells of a red haired human and a chicken is something our children’s children and in turn their future decedents will be grateful for in millennia to come”. The assembled media and scientific community have no idea what Mr Gates is taking about.

Drinks were served and the Star Spangled Banner was sung by German Chancellor Angela Merkle who also gave an impromptu break dancing demonstration.
The Chicken-man is on display at the Museum of Modern Art from Monday. Admission is $1850.00 for a day pass to the exhibit.