Sick child blames 50 Cent for her illness

Terminally ill little girl, Laurie Wilson, has blamed rapper 50 Cent for her illness.

“He offered me candy and I ate it”, croaked the 9 year old Californian, “It was bad candy. It made me very sick”.
50 Cent previously ran an illegal candy shop.
Lawyers acting for 50 Cent deny the claim.

Rosie O Donnell appointed spokeswoman on nuclear energy

Fat comic Rosie o Donnell has been elected spokeswoman for Nuclear Energy by Californian Governer Arnold Schwarzenegger. “Rosie has all the traits I look for in a woman. She knows nothing. Ha Ha ha”, laughed the Austrian oak, “hopefully she will do some collateral damage”.

Governor Schwarzenegger loses ability to strut

“Terminator” muscle man Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has lost the ability to strut.

“It’s terrible. Maria, first noticed, then the children. I studied my walk in the mirror and discovered it was true. I have lost my strut”, bellowed the guttural one. Aides blame the Governors recent change of underpants.

Judge Reinhold attempts comeback

Following hot on the heels of Steve Guttenburgs appearances in Veronica Mars, other 80’s has been Judge Reinhold is to reinvent himself on the small screen. “Paper Boy” will see Reinhold play the part of a 10 year old schoolboy Holocaust survivor who delivers newspapers in a leafy suburban Californian town inhabited by Nazi‘s.

“I see myself as a man child figure. People will accept me as a boy. I know they will”, spouts the deluded star.
Corey Feldman (The Goonies), Dirk Benedict (The A Team) and Kate Jackson (Charlies Angels) have all expressed their willingness to be cast in the show or failing this to be cast in anything at all.