Brandy assaults Mandy after bingeing on Candy

America’s Got Talent judge Brandy physically assaulted Mandy Moore in a LA car park after bingeing on a diet of candy bars donated to her by the Hershey company.

“She was crazy”, said eyewitness Laeticia Jackson, “her eyes were all crazy and stuff like she was on drugs or something”.

Hershey has admitted to including “trace” amounts of crack cocaine and L.S.D in its candy treats.

Hasselhoff declares war on Turkmenistan

America’s got Talent judge David Hasselhoff has delared war on former Soviet region Turkmenistan.
The “Night Rider” and “Baywatch” hunk has had his eye on the troubled nation for quite some time.

“The Turkmen are our enemies”, growled the former UN High commissioner for Human Rights, “myself and KIT have come to the conclusion that they must be destroyed immediately in order to protect the American way of life”.
Sales of Mr Hasselhoff’s latest CD “Night Moves” have been slow in Turkmenistan, with the star only reaching number 5 in their weekly charts.