African Charity donates money to Church of Scientology

African based charity “The Good Givers” has donated a large unspecified sum of money to the Church of Scientology.

“We heard on the radio about the plight of the Scientologists in America”, said spokeswoman Adejale Bijunbumbo of “The Good Givers”, “every sixty seconds a Scientologists goes broke somewhere in the US. Our donation we hope will help bring some relief to these poor people”.

“The Good Givers” were founded in 1984 in Ethiopia by a group of friendly Warlords backed by Britain and the Reagan Administration here in the US.
Although the donation is unspecified, it is thought to exceed three Billion dollars.

"We hope the Scientologists can rebuild some of their centers and continue to make money for loony Hollywood stars", said a teary eyed Mr. Bijunbumbo

Spiderman actor sells weapons to Africa

“Spiderman” Tobey Maguire has joined the arms race by buying up tonnes of weapons for war torn African nation Congo. “I’m just trying to do my piece”, Maguire shyly uttered.

George Bush to live in africa

President Bush wants to live in Africa and become a Tarzan-like figure.
Speaking to The Financial Times Affrican Correspondent, Nijume Biyahlo, Mr. Bush said:
"I like Africa. And the africanese peoples. I like lions and elephants.And monkeys.I see myself as a modern day Tarzan.I would love to climb trees and kill crocodiles.Obviously I will need to bulk up a little and learn the africanese language but once my time as commander in chief has ended I will fullfill my true ambition to live wild".
When questioned on the difficulties he might face Mr. Bush responded:
" My mom, Barbara, has been living in a treehouse in our back yard for over 4 years and she has become quite the survivalist. She promises to pass on all her knowledge to me."