Sales of fake voices exceed those of cinema admissions

Spiderman 3 and Transformers may have packed them in at the box-office but movie earnings fall way begind those of fake voices.
Spurred by the demands of Hollywood celebrities, fake accent sales have gone through the roof with prices ranging from $5 to $500,000.

“Madonna is a big spender”, said Jimmy Jimjimwolawolah of fakecelebaccents.crap, “she buys from us all the time, usually Victorian British accents the kind nanny’s used to speak”.

“Mike Myers and Robin Williams are partial to a little fake Scottish, which they tend to uveruse a bit too much for my liking. We have a host of Aussie actors such as the lead guy that was in The Guardian and the main guy from Nip Tuck - now they spend a lot on high grade US accents”.

Celebrity attention such as this has encouraged regular citizens to splash their cash to the tune of almost 8 billion dollars.

“We had a woman from Michigin order a bunch of Romanian accents last week”, said Jimmy, “but I’m guessing it was probably just Madonna again".

“Waynes World” actress Tia Carrere crashes motorized helmet into funeral home

Tia Carrere who played Mike Myers' love interest in the Wayne’s World movies was arrested after crashing a motorized ½ tonne helmet vehicle into a funeral home in West Hollywood.

“She lost control of the vehicle”, said Officer Mike Rush of the LAPD, “it’s just lucky that everyone she hit were already dead”.

Vancouver to Host “Bore Fest”

Vancouver, Canada is to host this years “Bore Fest” which celebrates the dullest Canadian celebrities of the year. “We’ve a top notch line up”, boasts Steve Meiner, “Alanis Moiresette and Dan Ackyrod will be there, James Cameron will be giving a speech, Mike Myers will be doing a 30 minute routine and lots more”.

Shrek star attacks Sister Sister sisters

Shrek star Mike Myers has attacked the performance of twins Tia and Tamara Mowry of Sister Sister fame.
“They are without doubt the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen”, the not funny comedian said in a fake unrealistic accent, “nobody acts like those two. Their hand movements and general physical demeanour leaves a lot to be desired”.

Myers was responding to the sisters new performance art installation piece at the Sands Resort hotel in Las Vegas. The show which is a massive crowd pleaser and money maker has upset Myers.
“Twins holding the same pose for over two hours is not my idea of fun”, he griped.