Michael Jackson opens free babysitting service

Plastic faced Holocaust denier, Michael Jackson has opened a child-minding center right in the heart of Beverly Hills. “It’s for deprived rich kids”, squealed Jackson, “it’s a place where they can come and play and each room has a special door and I’ll be waiting behind it if they get too close”.

Donny Osmond has already taken his kids to the center. “Michael’s a friend”, smiled Osmond as he kept an eagle eyed watch on a slightly ajar door near his kids.

Judge Reinhold attempts comeback

Following hot on the heels of Steve Guttenburgs appearances in Veronica Mars, other 80’s has been Judge Reinhold is to reinvent himself on the small screen. “Paper Boy” will see Reinhold play the part of a 10 year old schoolboy Holocaust survivor who delivers newspapers in a leafy suburban Californian town inhabited by Nazi‘s.

“I see myself as a man child figure. People will accept me as a boy. I know they will”, spouts the deluded star.
Corey Feldman (The Goonies), Dirk Benedict (The A Team) and Kate Jackson (Charlies Angels) have all expressed their willingness to be cast in the show or failing this to be cast in anything at all.