Trump trapped in mine

Millionaire and terrorist, Ivana Trump has become the centre of rescue efforts at a South African mine.
The loaded lady was apparently visiting the mine to hang out with 6 of her 22 boyfriends. Events turned sour when they became trapped 2 miles underground at the gold mine in Pretoria, South Africa.

Rescuers say she and the other miners have a “slim to none” chance of survival but upon hearing of her wealth they raised the odds to “very strong”. Her former husband Billionaire ginger head Donald Trump has expressed an interest in seeing her die.

Pink and Nelson Mandela to duet

Following the success of his multi platinum selling debut album “Datz Da Bomb”, former South African president Nelson Mandela is to perform with Pink on her next tour. “Pink is da bomb, baby”, screeched the octogenarian hip cat, “she and I are gonna make some noise, you know what I’m sayin’, aieee”.

Pink is full of praise for the Apartheid reformer, “He is one of history’s most important people. He has achieved so much in his life. His music and lyrics are so heartfelt and emotional. I’ve sung with amazing people before like Mya and Lil Kim. Nelson is a true artist.”
Mandela’s debut album featured a number of duets with supermodel Naomi Campbell such as “Youse a Crazy Be-atch” and “Datz whack, Jack”.