Josh Brolin commandeers submarine and fires nuke while drunk on stepmothers urine

“Hollow Man” actor and son of ”Hotel” actor James, Josh Brolin commandeered a US nuclear submarine during a nighttime drinking binge on stepmother Barbara Steisands vintage urine collection. US Naval authorities have expressed dismay at Mr. Brolin’s childish antics. “He’s a bad, bad boy”, said a Navy spokesman.

A San Diego city block was destroyed during Brolin’s naughty nuclear launch. “He f*cked up, big time”, griped newly appointed Nuclear Energy Spokeswoman Rosie O Donnell as she surveyed the scene.

Chris Tucker and Paul Walker Together at least !

“Rush Hours” Chris Tucker and “The Fast and the Furious” Paul Walker are to team up for action comedy “Heidi: 2 Young 2 Die”. Director Len Wiseman is calling the shots. “This is gonna be a kick ass version of the Heidi story. Goat girl lives with her grandfather then moves to living with wicked woman and cripple girl”, enthuses Wiseman, “Paul plays Heidi and Chris is Goat Peter her boyfriend. The sh*t that happens in this movie is immense”.

Filling out the cast is big chinned Argentinian Casper Van Dien (last seen in “Starship Troopers”), Californian nuclear spokeswoman Rosie O Donnell and Wiseman’s wife Kate Beckinsale ( Pearl Harbour).

Rosie O Donnell appointed spokeswoman on nuclear energy

Fat comic Rosie o Donnell has been elected spokeswoman for Nuclear Energy by Californian Governer Arnold Schwarzenegger. “Rosie has all the traits I look for in a woman. She knows nothing. Ha Ha ha”, laughed the Austrian oak, “hopefully she will do some collateral damage”.