Oprah and Gayle in North Korean Dictator tug of love

Insiders have divulged the secret that threatens to tear apart long time friends Oprah Winfrey and GayleKing.

The wedge that’s come between them is Asian lothario Kim Jong Il who has been attending every recent event with Winfrey in tow. “Gail is jealous as hell”, revealed the insider, “she dated Kim in college and has known him the longest”.

Pixar to remake Asian body Shocker

“Toy Story” makers Pixar are to do an animated remake of the banned Korean horror “Mother Death”
The film is about Mother Death, a true life sadistic chainsaw wielding former nurse who murdered women and children in Pyongpan in the 1960’s. She was later captured by North Korea and tortured to death.

Head of Pixar, Oscar winner John Lasseter, describes his delight at securing the rights to the family tale.
“Its great. The kids will love it. Mother Death was banned in Korea and Japan but I think a US audience will be way more receptive. We expect to make millions from the mechandising. McDonalds have been in touch to do a Mother Death Happy Meal”, he gloated.

Oprah Winfrey meets Kim Jong Il

Chat show host Oprah Winfrey has paid a vist to North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il's sprawlingWest Virginian ranch.

The Korean Dictator wants to put forward a more gentle side to the western media and requested a meeting with the billionaire tycoon. Sources close to Winfrey say that the two share a common love of antique furniture and sadistic torture. Winfrey was supposedly given a guided tour of Kim's deluxe underground secret military base located beneath the 86 acre ranch.
Oprah has in the past expressed interest in developing a nuclear weapons program but has denied attempting to buy a device from North Korea.

President Bush was also present at the meeting. He served coffee and apple pie on a silver platter made from the tooth fillings of murdered Korean activists.