American Idol judge Randy Jackson sinks sailboat full of kittens

American Idol fatboy judge, Randy Jackson, has sunk a twenty-five foot sailboat loaded with exotic kittens destined for the foreign market.

Mr. Jackson, a music producer and foot model, has become quite a specialist in sinking ships of late.

Late last month he scuttled an oil tanker off the coast of Newfoundland. Six days ago he sank a ship belonging to former Nine Inch Nails singer Trent Reznor in the Bahamas and only yesterday he torpedoed a fishing trawler off the coast of Spain.

“I try to do my thing”, said Jackson, “just workin’ my magic, dawg”.

Jackson claims his vandalism is part of his “great plan” for the world.

“Look, let me lay it out for you”, said Jackson, “my music, producing, American Idol and all that are just small fry. The goal is to sink ships, man. That’s were the life is, baby”.


Jackson remians free because authorities fear he may sink their little police boats.

“Even Almighty” actor Steve Carrell holds up drugstore

Smack addicted comedian Steve Carrell raided a small town drugstore whilst on a whistle stop promotional tour of Boise, Idaho. He was arrested at the scene but released due to lack of evidence earlier this morning. The store owner, his wife and pet cat were all injured in the shooting spree.

Law and Order actor hit with court order

Law and Orders crusading states attorney Sam Waterston has been hit with a court order barring him from going closer than 100 metres to a Taco Bell. The grey haired actor caused a ruckus early this year when he stormed the premises while carrying an arsenal of weapons ranging from semi automatic sub machine guns to rocket propelled grenade launchers.

Citing “cat troubles” and “gangrene” as reasons for his unruly behaviour didn’t prevent the courts from finding against him. Waterston is said to be feeling “better” and has patched up his relationship with his cat.