Hollywood Big Noses gather to celebrate at Annual Event

A glittering array of stars turned out last night for the 42nd annual Nosey’s. Celebrating the best and the brightest big nosed stars, the event attracted such luminaries as Barry Manilow, Barbara Streisand, and Pete Townsend of The Who, who arrived with someone else’s children.

“I’m delighted to be here”, said nominee Sean Penn, “I rowed here in a bathtub after another of my homes burned down but this whole occasion has cheered me up”.

Tennis ace, Steffi Graf spoke briefly: “A few years ago I won Best Supporting Female Nose but this year I’m just happy to be nominated”, she lied.

British big nose Rod Stewart was in great mood: “I bumped into Ronnie Woods (The Rolling Stones) back stage and we shared a hankerchief”.

A special award was posthumously awarded to legendary performer Jimmy Durante for “Outstanding Achievemnt in Big Noseness”.
Full results are available online somewhere - probably.

Sean Penn is a wife beater

Oscar winner Sean Penn is a legendary wife beater.
“I beat my currant wife daily”, he told British tabloid The Sun, “I’m the best damned pool player in town”.

Asked how he fared against former wife Madonna, Penn snarled, ”she had her moments. She was better than Robin (Wright Penn)”.
The “Racing the Moon” stoner lives in a giant ornamental shoe and donates other peoples money to worthy charities such as James Wood’s Tourettes Foundation. “I don’t like to talk about my charity work too much but you can read all about it in a new book I have coming out for Christmas”, the star grunted