Tyra Banks is possessed

Audience members at the “Tyra Banks Show” were in for a big surprise when the talkative beauty writhed on the floor spewing profanities.

“It was incredible and frightening”, gasped audience member, Linda, 53 , “everything seemed normal until about halfway through the show when she started to stutter then speak in tongues. She had a wild look in her eyes. Then she began to vomit all over the stage and there was this awful smell like sulphur or something.”

Dirty old man sues Kurt and Goldie

A homeless Vietnam veteran has successfully sued long term couple Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.
Jim Downs, a former marine and Miami native, alleged that Goldie Hawn opened the gates to hell and that her partner, “Breakdown” actor Kurt Russell, tried to push him into the fiery embers of hell.

“They willingly tried to end my life. I’m alive but for the grace of God. If I didn’t have my military training I don’t think I’d be still here right now”, whined Downs.
The Court heard how Goldie and Kurt borrowed the gateway to hell from long-time friend Bill Cosby.

“We only intended to kill one old guy”, cried Hawn, “It was supposed to be just a bit of fun”.
Hawn and Russell were each sentenced to a total of 2 months community service and to pay for Mr Downs hospital care. Hawn and Russell are challenging the ruling calling it “unfair”.