Retard movie banned in Oklahoma

A movie directed by Oscar Winner Steven Spielberg has been banned in Oklahoma by city officials.
“Retard” is a family movie about a boy who discovers a magical retard hiding in his garage.

“It’s a tale about a suburban boy whose father has recently passed away and he’s trying to come to terms with his loss”, said Spielberg, “he finds a special friend called Retard who helps him and his family”.

“We cover themes of love, loss, rebellion in this picture”, added Spielberg, “and with the 98% of the movie’s gross, I plan to buy a small South American country and rule it like a Sun God”.

Writer/producer George Lucas elaborated further;
“I can relate to retard a lot. I grew up in a relatively wealthy family, I became a multi millionaire very early in life, I’m now a multi-billionaire with an empire that’s viewed by some as a religion…“, Lucas pauses to stroke his beard, “actually I’m nothing like Retard”.

Retard will be portrayed by scary big mouth Sandra Bernhardt and the boy is being played by Jessica Alba.

Transformers director has hydrocephalus

Blockbuster movie director Michael Bay has hydrocephalus. The life threatening disease, caused by excessive fluid around the cranial area, leaves sufferers with a gigantic swollen head.

Friend and executive producer of Transformers, legendary director Steven Spielberg has had his own brushes with the ailment. “ It started for me around the time of “Jaws” but pretty much faded with “Always” and “Hook””, droned the beardy big head, “Michael will get through this, you’ll see. All he needs is another flop like “Pearl Harbour”. Look what happened to Kevin Costner. He’s got probably the tiniest head I’ve ever seen”.