British Royal family capture escaped murderer Angela Lansbury

British newspaper, The Daily Mail, reports that the Royal Family have intercepted escaped killer Angela Lansbury. The “Murder She Wrote” actress was apparently fired upon and wounded by Queen Elizabeth.

Lansbury is set to be deported to the US where she will serve the remainder of her sentence for killing Mafia Don John Goti at San Quentin correctional facility.

Murder She Wrote actress insults Kofi Annan

Angela Lansbury, who played Jessica Fletcher” in the hit 80’s show, has provoked consternation in Washington by calling former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan a “mother*ck*r”.

The row erupted during a dinner organised by President Bush in honour of Mr. Annan.
“It was incredible”, said guest and eyewitness Lorenzo Lamas (Falcon Crest), “Mr Annan wanted to meet a number of famous faces from television such as myself and others. Then Angelsaburst in and all hell broke loose”.
Miss Landsbury was returned to a secure unit at San Quentin high Security prison where she is serving an 18 year term for murdering New York crime boss John Gotti.

Lord of the Dance likes Lady Boys

“Lord of the Dance” star Michael Flatley enjoys holidaying in Bangkok and indulging in his hobby of collecting ladyboys. “I have quite a collection”, admits the Chicago native, “you can never have too many - despite what some might say”, he added with a twinkle in his eye.

Indeed Flatley’s collection is all the more remarkable considering the competition he faces from other keen lady boy fanatics, or “fanciers” as they like to be called. “MASH” star Alan Alda and “Being John Malkevich” lead John Cusack have been priced out of the market by Flatley’s exotic spending.

“Michael is an alright guy”, says Alda from his cell at San Quentin, “he is a connoisseur in the lady boy field. If he can afford it then he can buy it - no hard feelings from us".