Ugly Betty star Salma Hyek takes nuns on Rio trip

“Ugly Betty” producer and actress Salma Hayak brought an entire nunnary on a wild weekend to Rio di Janeiro, Brazil.

“They needed a break from all that praying and kneeling and holy stuff”, Hyak smiled, “these nuns are some of the baddest bitches I’ve ever met and I’ve been in Hollywood and Mexico a long time”. All twenty five nuns were arrested and charged with narcotics possession and illegal use of a dwarf.

“Umbrella” singer Rihanna shrinks by 8 inches

R&B singer Rihanna has lost almost 8 inches in height from hard living and poor decisions.
“I could have been a contender for the US ladies basketball team if wasn’t for my liquor problem and addiction to whistling”, she contemplated.

“Mini Me” becomes Colombia’s top drug baron

Pint Sized Star Verne Troyer has topped the league of Colombia’s most prolific drug baron’s for the second year running. The “Auston Powers” actor, who neither speaks Spanish or even wants to learn how to speak the language, is said to be a very happy little man.
Locals in the Village of El Castillo refer to him as El Condor and say he is feared throughout the community

Stevie Wonder banned from driving Again

Music man Stevie Wonder has been cautioned for drink driving again - that’s the 89th time this week. The pop superstar - who is legally blind - was stopped at a checkpoint on Saturday night after being spotted driving erratically.

Accompanying him were five of his nine children as well as a number of underage groupies and a dwarf.
Mr Wonder has been warned to stay away from driving in future.